By Ryan Gray
No. Nope. It isn’t over. Actually, it’s not really ever over.
Breaking the 4th wall for a minute, this column is scheduled for the fourth Wednesday of the month. This means I usually have weeks to bounce ideas around and get perspectives to include but this month has been abnormal for that and here I am, the night before this column is supposed to post considering this question.
I should clarify, it’s also the last day of my daughter’s high school career and her last day as a 17-year-old. Tomorrow she turns 18 and technically becomes an adult. Is my role as a parent over yet? No, of course not.
While her high school experience is over, it really isn’t. Who we are is strongly influenced by the collection of experiences we’ve had. While my daughter is off to college in the fall, her high school experience will go with her. What she has learned, in class and out of class will go with her.
The theme of “is it over yet?” begs the question of COVID. Is it over? Well, it’s no longer part of my day-to-day concern. It isn’t a cloud hanging over all conversations and decisions as it was not that long ago. Earlier this month the World Health Organization declared that Covid-19 is no longer a global health emergency. Is it over? No. So many still carry the grief of loved ones lost to the pandemic. All of our lives have changed in some way because of Covid. The effect is still with us.
Those readers out there my age will recognize the line “every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end” from a song that if you think hard enough you can probably think of the title or artist.
Every new chapter we open begins with the end of the previous chapter. So far this year I’ve looked at beginning new chapters in several areas of life, but at each juncture, it was the knowledge and experience I had already gained that informed those decisions. We should honor our hard-won wisdom from each chapter of our experience and let it inform the subsequent chapters.
So that begs the question, what are you learning in the current chapter? How are you contributing to the experience of those around you in their current chapter? If you knew that they would carry that experience into the future far beyond their direct interaction with you, would that change how you interact with people today?
The reality is that the memory of the facts of our experiences fades over time, but how those experiences made us feel has a way of staying with us and affecting our future decision-making. It is up to each of us to understand that the decisions we make today may have effects on those around us for a long time to come. That thought may seem intimidating but I see it as an amazing opportunity.
I have the ability to influence the current chapter being written in the lives of those within my communities. That influence can carry into future chapters. I don’t need to be perfect to have a positive influence. I just need to show that I care. In the end, how we make people feel will outlast what we actually do.
I will again say, I’m the example to look to for this. It’s just that this is the conviction that is on me as I write and I hope it can bring something to each reader. As I consider the work of making community connections around myself I find hope in the thought that the kindness and good will that I have been shown by family, friends, and colleagues will resonate with me in the future chapters of my life. I strive to contribute the same to those around me.
It’s never really over, but that’s actually a good thing. It creates so many opportunities to lift up those around us, not just today but for a long time to come.
P.S. The song is “Closing Time” and the band is “Semisonic”.