Press Pause: You Can’t Help Others if You Don’t Help Yourself | Somehow I Manage
By Britt Yenser
TW: Suicide
If you or someone you know may be struggling with suicidal thoughts, you can call the U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255) any time day or night, or chat online. Crisis Text Line also provides free, 24/7, confidential support via text message to people in crisis when they dial 741741.
March is a month where we have a lot going on. When I was teaching, I called it “No Exit Zone March” because of its sheer length with little to no room for a break. It can also be an emotionally taxing month. February was Black History Month, and people might have spent that time highlighting suffering, injustice, and resilience. Then we transition to March, Women’s History Month, where we see those same themes highlighted again; for some folks, the highlights are intersectional. Pair a long month with two concurrent months of actively bringing adversity to the forefront, (often feeling like we need to take advantage of these themed months in order to be heard,) and you have a recipe for burnout. So, my friend, how are you managing this? How are you taking care of yourself?
Oftentimes when people think of self-care, they imagine lighting a candle and donning a mud mask. While that is self-care, it can be so much more than that. As a matter of fact, there are eight categories of self-care: physical, psychological, emotional, social, professional, environmental, spiritual, and financial. As the name implies, self-care is all about what is important to you; it’s about filling your cup so you aren’t running on empty by the end of the day. Not everything that works for me will work for you, but I wanted to share my top ten self-care tools in case they may resonate with you, or inspire you to find some self-care tools of your own!
The Top Ten Tools in Britt’s Self-Care Tool Bag (According to Britt, Anyway):
- Therapy:
Stay with me here. Therapy is incredible. There are so many ways you can access it (in person, virtually, via messaging, etc) and you can use it to talk about anything! Therapy is paying a trained professional to dedicate their time to YOU. If you had the opportunity to get any and anything off of your chest and be given the tools to heal, wouldn’t you take it? It might take you a few tries to find a practice that takes your insurance, is in your budget, or even a therapist who you really like. But those steps are worth it. I personally use BetterHelp!
Use Apps to Your Advantage:
There are a lot of great self-care apps out there, and many of them are free! I personally love the Finch app. I am not always motivated to take care of myself, but I am motivated to take care of my little digital bird. Which, in reality, is me taking care of myself. Find what motivates you, and find the app that compliments that motivation.Drink Water:
You cannot function if you are not hydrated. Drink your water! If a nice water bottle motivates you, buy one! Just make sure you are ingesting water.Move Your Body:
Small movements throughout the day can make a big difference. This is not about being fit, or even about exercising. I’m talking about a gentle stretch or taking advantage of the fact that your chair spins! I highly recommend Yoga with Adrienne on Youtube, as she has both an “office yoga” sequence and a “yoga at your desk” sequence that don’t take a lot of time or physical effort, but do boost your energy and mood! The word “yoga” probably strikes a pretty intense image in your mind, but I am going to encourage you to set that aside and give “office yoga” a try. Can you turn your head from side to side and move your shoulders up and down? If so, you can totally do “office yoga.”Go Outside:
You know, the place beyond your door? Go there. Get some Vitamin D from the sun, and let the blues and greens of the outside world have a positive effect on your brain (this is a real thing.)Practice Mindfulness:
I am going to upset the multitaskers in the room, but your brain can only focus on one thing at a time. So if you feel overwhelmed or like your mind is racing, give mindfulness a shot. I find grounding and breathwork techniques to be incredibly helpful. Here’s a sublist of my favorite techniques, in case you haven’t experienced this sort of self-care before:- 5-4-3-2-1 Technique: Look around you, identify and name: 5 things you see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.
- Rainbow Grounding: Look around you, identify and name: 1 red object, 1 orange object, 1 yellow object, 1 green object, 1 blue object, and 1 purple object.
- Alternate Nostril Breathing: this article is not sponsored by Yoga with Adrienne, but she does have a great tutorial video for this on Youtube!
- Phone a Friend:
When the going gets tough, the tough pick up the phone and call their best friend. It is likely that your friend will have a good idea of what to say, even if it’s just something to make you laugh.
Do What You Can Do:
When I am having a bad mental health day, I identify what I can do. If I modify what I consider a win, then I am still winning! Maybe I can’t wash all of the dishes in the sink, but I can wash one or two. Maybe I can’t write that email, but I can jot down some thoughts about it. There will be some days where your 100% looks different, and that’s totally okay. And you have to know that it’s okay. Recognize that the small step you took was an awesome and legitimate step!Put Some Money in your Savings Account:
Everyone probably recognizes the need to have money saved, but some people really struggle with it. This circles back to doing what you can do. $5 is better than $0! Make it a habit of moving any amount of money into your savings, and see how that makes you feel. This can also align with other goals you may have. For example, when I quit smoking, I would move the amount of money it would cost to buy a pack of cigarettes into my savings account instead. That $12 every couple of days sure added up, and made me feel great!- Practice Gratitude:
The brain is a muscle, and you can train it like any other muscle. Try focusing your thoughts on what you are grateful for, and see if it makes you feel better. I personally start every day by writing down 3 things I am grateful for. Starting my day on a positive note has been game-changing for my overall self-care and mental health.
Self-care and mental health are continuous and unique journeys. Some seasons are more challenging than others, and it’s always good to have tools in your mental tool belt! I hope some of these self-care tools resonated with you or at least inspired you to find ways to make space for yourself during “No Exit Zone March.” After all, if you aren’t managing yourself well, you will not be able to manage anything else!
